THE WORLD NEEDS TO END…at least as we know it….

Another shooting in Pennsylvania today, probably not the last. These times challenge our souls. The physical world may not be ending today, but the call to change our “old ways” is upon us.

What are the “old ways”? Too much value being placed on material things. The need for bigger homes, fancier cars, all to impress people that we don’t even know or like. We crave the newest electronics, designer clothing and a forever amount of chemical and material distractions that we have all used to stay numb and separate from our very own souls. We blame others for our troubles without a mirror in sight. Jealousy, hate and fear dominates over love, forgiveness and understanding. We live in the past or in fear of the future instead of being present with what is right in front of our noses. Gratitude is mostly saved for once a year and many are just surviving until it’s their turn to die. These,,,are some of the “old ways”.

In addition, we have moved away from embracing ourselves as a reflection of God. We have become separate and disconnected to the very source that brought us here to begin with. The source is love, no matter what religion connects us there,,,the oneness of them all is love. It may be cliché’…but we ARE ALL ONE…when we hate another, we are hating ourselves. We cannot recognize in someone else that which we do not have within ourselves. That is not a new concept and I take no credit for thinking of it. But today, my spirit was moved to remind us all; if we are to raise our consciousness and begin real change in the world, we need to connect with God, Spirit, Source and remember; we are here to LOVE and be loved. Another cliché’?  perhaps, but I’ll take that over what we’ve got going on now in a heartbeat.

Some may argue;  “But there are evil people who do bad things, how can I love them?”   We can send someone love and forgiveness without condoning what they have done. We don’t have to hang out with them or befriend them, forgiveness does not require that. One possible question that we can ask ourselves is: What are these people reflecting about US?  We all have the potential of evil and illness within us, just as we all have Cancer cells in our bodies.  Why do some people express that outwardly while others do not? I don’t pretend to know,,,but  perhaps these evil doer’s are here to teach us forgiveness and compassion for yes, even “evil”.  Light will always win out over darkness,,,that is the “Cool Aid” that I drink every morning and will continue to do so.

As we observe what is happening around us, may we stay connected with our hearts and remember that it sometimes gets worse before it gets better. The tragedies of the world reflect many lessons reminding us of what needs to shift within us. May we hold each other’s hands through dark times and hold the light for each other as we shed what no longer serves us as we move closer to love, spirit and oneness.

I am so grateful to be here during these turbulent times because I do believe; the capacity and practice of love will raise the vibration to meet the occasion, and when that happens, man will I be glad I signed on for the ride.

Janice Borghoff is a Certified Meditation and Stress Management Consultant and Founder of A Peaceful Woman ~ Find Your Inner Calm

http://www.apeacefulwoman.com/

Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved

Ever Felt Cranky?

GUESS WHAT? GOOD NEWS! YOU CAN BE A PEACEFUL WOMAN AND STILL BE CRANKY!

Someone asked me the other day “how are you” and I said “CRANKY!!”. That person responded by saying; “gee,,,,in a weird way, I’m kinda relieved to hear that you get cranky sometimes too”.

That conversation got me thinking. Perhaps I need to remind us all that being a peaceful woman does not mean that we sit and meditate all day long and are in bliss 24/7. Being a peaceful woman is about embracing our true feelings in the moment; happy, sad, mad, scared, frustrated, angry or just plain cranky!

Some days are not easy. Sometimes our bodies hurt or our hearts are broken. Sometimes we just want to close all the shades and curl up in a ball. Those are the times when we need to be especially kind to ourselves. That kindness may mean that we need to be alone to lick our wounds or, it may mean that we need to talk to a friend who will just listen without trying to fix us.Whatever we need during our tough days, it’s ok to ask and to receive kindness from ourselves and other’s until we come back to our center.Becoming a peaceful woman is a process of opening up our hearts to ourselves and embracing all of who we are, the good, the bad and the ugly. With practice, it really is possible to feel our most ugly inside and still love ourselves. It is an unfolding process that comes over time. I’m still learning as I go. Some days are easier than others but I am moving along.

So the next time your crank monster comes to call, try telling yourself: “you’re cranky and it’s ok, I love you anyway, this will pass”. Take a deep breath, take some time and if all else fails, a little chocolate may help. ; )

Janice Borghoff is a Certified Meditation and Stress Management Consultant and Founder of A Peaceful Woman ~ Find Your Inner Calm

http://www.apeacefulwoman.com/

Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved

Sunshine

It’s that time of the year here in New England. The air is crisp and it has a hint of the aromatics of “Fall”, my favorite time of year.

I was born in the fall and I have a theory that people’s favorite season is the one they were born in. Is that true for you? Perhaps not, but it’s certainly true for me.

It is 7:34 pm as I write this and my darkened window reminds me that winter and the time to go within is near. That very reminder is a perfect opportunity for me to practice mindfulness and being in the moment.

Today I already thought of where the snow blower would go in the garage. I wondered what kind of weather challenges this winter would bring. I then realized that I was not in the present moment. I was distracted from sniffing the subtle change in the air and feeling the coolness of the fall breeze against my skin. In my mind I was already plowing my driveway, ridding it of the millions of snow flurries that will inevitably visit. Ahhh, a wonderful reminder that living in the moment is practice, no matter how long you’ve been practicing, there’s always more to learn.

I personally am someone who needs light. Sunshine that lasts deep into the night on summer days is like eating my favorite flavored ice cream cone; delicious. The darker months of the fall and winter challenge me as they do many other people. I can feel my body already responding to that change with tomorrow being the cusp of September’s bloom.

As the years go by faster and faster, I notice not wanting each season to end because it only reminds me of how fast my life is going. The gift however is that I am reminded of time passing. This reminder gets the fire in my belly burning all that much hotter to do something meaningful with whatever time I have left on this rock that someone named “Earth”.

So this fall, I will practice gratefulness that I have lived to experience once again, the crisp cool air and the smell of the first log in the fireplace. I will “practice” smelling the scent of the day, in the moment, and when the first snowflake does arrive, I will smile.

http://www.apeacefulwoman.com/

Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved

Remember to Love Yourself Today

Our inner critic takes up a lot of space in our busy minds.  If we spoke to our friends as harshly as we speak to ourselves, we would likely be pretty lonely.

It’s amazing how hard we women can be on ourselves.  Always a little voice saying “I’m not good enough” or “I’m so fat, I can’t stand how I look”, or, “I’m not smart enough to get a better job” or; any of the other endless possibilities of unkind slogans that go round and round in our heads that keep us in a cycle of unhappiness.

So how did we become so critical of ourselves?  Well, that’s multi-layed for each of us, but what most of us have in common are the messages that our culture and society have given us.

We try to measure up to standards created by other’s and taught to us at a young age. How sad that “Loving Yourself 101″ is not the first classroom experience for each child.  Instead, we learned that how we look and what grade we achieve are the measurements of our self-worth. Well perhaps we won’t change the systems that are in place around us, but we can change our thoughts and learn how to love ourselves every day.

So how do you begin to learn how to love yourself unconditionally, non-judgmentally and with kindness?”

For starters, begin noticing when you are not treating yourself well.  Pay attention to those moments of self-criticism and begin a practice of speaking to yourself as though you were talking to your very best friend.

What would you say to your friend when she is being hard on herself?  What would you say if she was exhausted and needed to rest but kept going anyway?   Perhaps you might invite her to rest, to take care of herself and remind her that it’s ok to take a break?

I imagine whatever you would say to your friend, you would likely be kind, patient and understanding towards her.  So the good news?   You already know how to treat someone well.  Now all you have to do is transfer that knowing and kindness towards yourself. With time, you may even become your own best friend. 

Janice Borghoff is a Certified Meditation and Stress Management Consultant and Founder of A Peaceful Woman ~ Find Your Inner Calm
A Peaceful Woman is a counseling and education service for women helping them to improve the quality of their lives by growing self-compassion, reducing anxiety, stress and grief using natural, alternative and integrative approaches.

http://www.apeacefulwoman.com/

Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved

The Luna Center for Natural Health

I am happily honored to join my counseling practice: “A Peaceful Woman ~ Find Your Inner Calm” with Dr. Emily Miller at “The Luna Center for Natural Health”. We will be hosting an open house on Saturday September 15th from 1-5pm. Healthy foods and beverages as well as unique giveaways will make it worth the trip!  We look forward to meeting you!

The Luna Center for Natural Health
660 Central Avenue Suite 201A
Dover, NH  03820
603-592-5575   Dr. Emily Miller, Naturopathic Doctor
603-973-1252   Janice Borghoff  A Peaceful Woman ~ Find Your Inner Calm

http://www.thelunacenter.com/

How Are You?

Often we ask people; “How are you?”.

Sometimes that phrase is simply a greeting directed towards strangers without a true interest in knowing how they really are. Other times, you will ask that question to a friend or loved one, sincerely wanting to know the answer. But how often do you ask yourself that question?

So how ARE you doing?
Have you taken any time lately to check in with yourself?
Perhaps you could take a moment right now?

I invite you to take a deep breath. Bring your attention to your bodily sensations and notice places where you may feel tense. Breathe into those tense areas while reminding yourself that it is perfectly ok to give yourself a few moments to just “be” and connect with wonderful you.

Now gently focus on your emotional state. Are you happy, sad, lonely, depressed, frustrated, anxious?

Allow just one moment to acknowledge your true feelings. If they are unpleasant feelings, you may notice yourself not wanting to feel them. If so, that’s ok, allowing ourselves to feel the unpleasant takes practice.

Whatever you observe and feel, simply notice. If you are happy, allow a smile across your face. If you feel sad; allow tears to come if they are there. Whatever you are feeling in this moment, all you have to do is acknowldge, honor, and thank the feelings for the information, and allow them as much space as you can.

Because our feelings ebb and flow naturally, happiness and sadness will come and go. If you practice non-judgmental observance of emotions versus repressing them, you will be well on our way to authentic living in the moment, and the flexibility to embrace the wholeness of life, with all of it’s imperfections.

Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved

Janice Borghoff is the Founder of A Peaceful Woman ~ Find Your Inner Calm and is a Certified Medical Meditation and Stress Management Consultant.